Welcome to the Football League, the sane, well-regulated older brother of the National League, where logic prevails and everything is done for a good reason.

Or maybe not.

Anyone familiar with the inconsistent way the National League was regulated will look hopefully at the EFL, praying we’re about to enter a realm of common sense. And then, last Thursday, the following alteration to the Football League’s regulations crept out of their AGM:

…clubs will no longer be permitted to use towels or other articles, including items obtained from spectators to dry footballs during matches.

What? Why? I mean, I have no interest in this matter, of course, as an innocent Wrexham fan who can’t even recall if we have a long throw specialist, but I’m appalled!

Maybe the last sentence was a touch disingenuous. We boast the most famous long throw specialist in football at the moment, and the sight of Ben Tozer’s projectiles landing explosively on the head of Aaron Hayden is one of many delights which we’ve enjoyed over the last two seasons.

So now he isn’t allowed to dry the ball and get a good grip before hurling it into the next postcode.

But why?

Putting aside all bias for a moment, this regulation seems to be particularly bizarre and unnecessary.

What pressing issue does it address? Is the long throw-in a problem in football at the moment?

Obviously it isn’t. What’s wrong with taking advantage of a player with a particular talent at his disposal?

There’s no possible suggestion that using a long throw is cheating. The only time I’ve felt that we’ve taken a cute approach to exploiting this natural asset was at the end of the 2021-22 season when, on a couple of occasions when we were defending a lead in the closing stages, Tozer would throw the ball down the line, but miss the pitch, meaning a lengthy stop while it was retrieved from the distant lands it had rolled into, and returned to Tozer.

But nobody seemed to notice this. Referees could have booked him for ungentlemanly conduct, that glorious carte blanche which can be applied to anything the laws of the game don’t cover, but didn’t.

And anyway, I didn’t notice Tozer doing it once this season. Maybe it wasn’t deliberate after all, and if it was, it’s nowhere near as cynical as the tactical fouling which disrupts opponents when they try to get their rhythm going. Bernardo Silva, I’m looking at you.

So where has this bizarre ruling come from?

To work out the answer, I think we have to look at the reaction of the Premier League to this strange decision.

When asked whether they would follow suit, they explained that they would not, but they would insist on any towels provided by the home team to be made equally available to the visiting side.

Is that what the Football League are concerned about? That a cynical side with a long throw in their armoury would provide a towel for their player, but squirrel then away when the opposition’s log throw man had a chance to hurl the ball into play?

If so, this rule is a sledge hammer to crack a nut. Just follow the Premier League guidance: provide towels for both sides and relax! If a club fails to do so, punish them. Simple!

I accept that there can be skulduggery around the long throw. Soon after Wrexham were relegated to the National League, we came across a player with a prodigious hurl on him in Exodus Geohaghon. He was a monster of a centre back, who played in the fifth tier for a number of teams, most notably Kettering Town.

The first time he came to The Racecourse, the awareness of the danger he represented went far beyond the coaching staff, because an enterprising ball boy would stage a low profile, cunning intervention!

I know this because my lad and some of his mates were ball boys at this time. The crafty customer in question (not my boy, I hasten to add!) noticed pre-match that Geohaghon had left his towel draped over the advertising hoardings, ready to deploy it when necessary.

The lad didn’t need a second invitation: he grabbed it and hid it a couple of rows of seats up! After I’d been tipped off, I had another look at the match footage, and noticed something I’d missed at the time: the comical sight of the massive centre back looking around when he had a throw-in to deliver, with a bemused look on his face, for his missing bathroom accessory!

Okay, that was a little naughty (and extremely funny!) However, it’s hardly an issue which requires a change of regulation. I just don’t get it.

Some Wrexham fans feel this is a change aimed at nullifying one of our attacking options: I can’t believe that’s the case. If it was, it’d be tantamount to cheating.

However, there does seem to be a little jealousy around our possession of the Tozer cheat code.

Tough luck, I say. You can take away our towels, but you cannot take our freedom.